Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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