if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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