I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
