I hate your face
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
