i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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