Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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