I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
