I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
