Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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