mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
