I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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