you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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