At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Shame is for Republicans.
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