Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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