Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
