sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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