So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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