i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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