Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
