your room smells of hookers.
And success
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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