i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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