if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
