we made out on top of his cat.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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