see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
