so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
