By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
