actually, I'm a sock model
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
