drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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