I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
