You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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