what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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