My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
