Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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