I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
