I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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