Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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