READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
