He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
