lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
