NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize