Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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