Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Rumble strips road head = magical
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
