Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
