Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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