Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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