Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
