Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
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I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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