was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
