i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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