Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
