I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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