So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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