We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
