Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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