i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
