It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
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He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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