He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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