Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
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